day 6

well day 4 started out amazing. but then i was forced to eat dinner (380 cals) but then i made the stupid mistake of going out afterwards and getting really wasted. which led to a junk food binge. i purged, but still felt like shit. yesterday (day5) i ate a bagel with cream cheese and an apple. then had to have dinner, but i purged it all. still feel like a mess. my weight has stayed the same shockingly enough. but still could be doing better. i don't feel well today. sore throat. i'm going to have a good clean weekend! i must! i must!

everyone in my life fucking sucks right now. i'm this huge invisible thing that no one cares about. i don't even know why i'm here honestly. i just want to die. i'm haunted by the past, drowning in the present and have no desire in the future. my existence is utterly pointless.

i'll just get through the day. no food.

i dont deserve anything.